The Big, Fat Auto Wedding

Premier Rio Weds Maruti Suzuki Swift

He has had his days of glory and undivided attention. Born in China, living in India with a different name; meet our Mr Charming- the Premier Rio. Let’s talk a little about this young, eligible bachelor. He is supporting his elderly father, Premier Auto Company, like how every ideal Indian son is expected to do. He has faced months of shutterbugs, TV reviews, articles on his grand debut in the Indian auto market.
But, things for young man Rio have turned cold now, just like an estranged lover’s heart.
Did I just say lover? And that is my cue to introduce lad Rio’s lady love- Ms Maruti Suzuki Swift.
Her curvaceous body (read-bulky) gives a vivid idea of very popular North Indian conception- “We’re not fat, we come from a well to-do (to-eat, actually) family.”
He likes her for her looks and the space she offers. How she manages the family budget brilliantly, with an excellent mileage, leaves his eyes wide open. Six months’ waiting period for delivery makes him swell with pride, because he’s her man!
Ask her what makes him so special, and her broad headlamps shrink as she blushes away. He is different from the rest of them, she says. When those bad boy SUVs swing from left to right on their ladder frame, his compact SUV self makes her turn towards her best friend, Lady Ritz, and say- “Aww, isn’t he cute!”
The gallant entry he makes on the corners makes her heart skip a beat. His build quality forms dreamy clouds over her head, content of which is not suitable to be written here.
But, just like any other happy couple, even Rio and Swift have their share of arguments. There exists a list of things they would like to change about each other.
Where Swift keeps herself manicured and padicured with a fancy dash, Rio believes in simple living and high thinking. Her top notch plastic quality and upholstery show her liking for designer labels. Rio, on the other hand, still likes to wear his grandfather’s old coat. Lady Ritz told her about how one can judge a gentleman by his shoes. Since then, Swift has been after Rio’s life to change his Kenda Clever and buy something nice like Bridgestones or Apollos.
Looks like a pauper meets a princess story to me.
Rio, our humble man has only one complaint. With the increasing number of his beloved’s replica on the roads, it becomes difficult for him to keep an eye on his angel. Very valid point there, I agree. Rio’s scariest nightmare is getting caught with one of her lady’s replica.
Enough of peeping through the key-hole, I say. Let Mr Rio and Ms Swift have a happy date at the workshop while we fantasize about other such couples.
Oh! Before I forget and before Mr Rio spots that I have been fiddling with Ms Swift’s central locking system, making her flash and sing after every 30 seconds, I must share this gossip with you.
The star couple has been planning to adopt a kid. It’s the Nissan Micra, I’ve heard.
Oh my God! I see Mr Rio running at his top speed of 150 kmph towards me. I think he caught me. But my top speed is not even 10 kmph!
I am so dead! :(